I would like to point out that Tuesday marked 1 month of my not talking to Andy. The block is holding. It is more than double the longest time I've been able to resist talking to him.

I still miss "him" and it still periodically hurts, but I'm not drowning anymore. I say "him" because there are very few things about ANDY that I actually miss. It's things like rolling over in bed and missing how his chest hair would tickle my nose. There are actual aspects of him that I've been coming to miss over the last week, but it's not enough to make me contact him ( how he smelled, joking with him about Star Trek, or dogs, or stupid people).

Part of what had me hooked so deeply on him was his consistency. He was always there - not always in a positive light, but he would always answer me. He would be there when nobody else was available, and I hug on that like snot. Interestingly, the further I get away from that dynamic, the more liberated I feel. I was always afraid that I would feel isolated, and drowning (like I felt in the first few days), but being able to utilize some healthy coping skills instead feels SO much better - and once I took him out as an option, falling into those coping skills came completely naturally.